Today's Legislation

[drplokta]

First, please note that pmcmurray has been appointed Minion i/c Australia. There are other continental vacancies for suitably qualified applicants, or suitably large bribes.

Second, here is your new legislation for today. All published timetables for public transport are hereby deemed to constitute contracts between the transport company and the passenger, and liability may not be excluded for delays or cancellations except where they are genuinely both unforeseeable and outside the control of the transport company or its subcontractors and suppliers. Examples of items for which liability may be excluded:

• Weather conditions which have not occurred in the same area within the previous century
  
• Terrorism or vandalism employing military weaponry or heavy industrial machinery
  

Where passengers can't demonstrate any financial loss other than their time, their time shall be valued at £30 per hour for the purposes of claiming compensation, including not only the length of the delay, but also the time spent in making the claim and collecting the payment -- so if you have staff on the platform to meet a late train and hand out buckets of cash, it's just the payment for the delay, but if you have to fill in a form, collect a cheque and pay it into you bank, you can add £15 for the half hour it takes. If you have to go to court, you can add hundreds or thousands of pounds. However, delays of five minutes or less shall be considered to be inconsequential.

Finally, from this date onwards no timetable may be reissued with reduced service frequencies or increased journey times without permission from your supreme dictator -- if you can't deliver the service, you should never have claimed that you should.

Comments

[kake]

Oh dear. I'm never going to be able to afford to travel on public transport again.

[andrewducker]

I'd rather let them republish timetables, to make them more accurate. No point fining them for the impossible, you'll just push up prices.

[tamaranth.livejournal.com]

how many different types of snow are distinguished? I.e. will "we haven't had this kind of snow ever, honest: and it's the wrong kind" be counted as a valid excuse?

[rdmaughan.livejournal.com]

I would divide precipitation up as snow, rain and hail. Only other determining factor to be depth of fall.

Of course the supreme dictactor may wish to rule otherwise.

[redbird]

I'd make some exceptions for freezing rain, I think, even if it's not the first time in history that the location has had that particular nastiness. (If it's the second time in twelve months or less, either learn to cope or admit you can't run a railroad.)

[armb.livejournal.com]

Any conditions on connecting services on "five minutes or less shall be considered to be inconsequential"?

[drplokta]

Depends if it causes a delay of over five minutes in the total journey.

[lostcarpark.livejournal.com]

So, if a delay of less than five minutes causes you to miss your connection (which runs on time) and you have to wait an hour for the next one, that counts as a delay of an hour?

[purplecthulhu.livejournal.com]

Oh great and glorious leader, would it trouble you too much to appoint me minion i/c Canada?

[redbrown.livejournal.com]

There's a reason why my published timetables look nothing like my working timetables!

[damienw]

I think you could have considered having an Australian as Minion i/c Australia. I'm out of practice but I can probably out-knurdle pmcmurray in order to demonstrate, um, something. Actually, just forget I posted this.